Black Women Issues: 3 Questions to ask regarding building relationships

By Daphene Baines

Black Women issues, as used here, is a reference to, African American females working through situations. Everybody, in general, and African American women, in particular, need sisterhood to help strengthen them. This strength can help us work on our health.

It is important that we as a sisterhood learn what it takes to help strengthen each other. Black women issues can be manage more effectively, once Christian women learn to encourage themselves and then others.

In today’s article, let’s look at how Christian women can use three empowering relationship questions that can help us with relationship building.

We have learned from our earlier discussions on Black women issues that we need to be connected to the power source. This power source, God, will allow Christian women to use the power they have received for the good of His people (inc. health).

Scriptures teach in Mark 12:29-31 that we are to love God with all we have and our neighbors as our selves. We also see that there is nothing too hard for God. We should praise God because of His kindness towards us. Evidence of a self-sacrificing love can be seen in Ruth and Naomi (see Ruth 1:13-17).

Many Christian women suffer everyday from a lack of sustainability (i.e., support, downward comparison, and resources). It may be difficult for sisters of the church to provide adequate resources and downward comparison; however, the sisterhood can provide support. This support comes as a result of relationship building.

As Black women, especially Christian women, who are striving to strengthen one another, asking the three questions below can be helpful in building relationships.

1. What is the difference between arrogance and confidence, and why is this important in relationship building? Another word for arrogance is conceit. When Christian women think about who God is, it makes it a serious offense for non-believers and Christians to be conceited. God is the maker of all things and made things for His glory.

We can do nothing without His help. Confidence or “a firm belief in oneself, without display of arrogance or conceit” comes from the fact that with God we can do all things. When a person boasts and brags about who they are on their own power, they are mistaken and ignorant.

Working and dealing with people requires much strength. People can have undesirable traits that may cause us to backup and give up trying to build a relationship. Fear has a way of entering in when we try new things. Christian women that are working on strengthening relationships should remember that God is our confidence (see Prov. 3:26).

As Christian women, let’s make sure we are not puffed up about our abilities. Let's be humble and confident in knowing that God gives us power to do all things. We need to be confident that our work will pay off. Let’s work on trusting God to help us build relationships and deal with Black women issues.

2. What is true kindness, and why is this important in relationship building? True kindness is not just trying to do something to show you are nice. True kindness comes from a genuine heart. Because of the love that you have towards someone kindness is shown.

If relationships are to be formed, it is important for Black Christian Women to first work on our insides. Do not perpetrate or pretend to like a person. It is very important to let love lead to action. Yes, sometimes we must give conscience efforts to being nice, but this should come because we have some concern in our heart.

Remember that God is kind towards us. Because God has shown kindness towards us, we should show kindness towards others. If you want people to be nice and kind towards you, it is very important for you to be kind towards them. Dealing with Black women issues calls for kindness.

It is possible that when you are kind towards people, you do not receive kindness from them. Because we learn from God’s example, we should still be kind. Many times God is truly kind towards us, and we do nothing towards being kind back to Him. Let’s work on being people who care about people and thus work on doing kind deeds.

3. What is intimacy, and is it important in building relationships? Intimacy is not just a sexual relationship that we often think about. Friends can have a type of intimacy that is akin to that found between spouses.

As our relationship with God becomes deeper, we, as Christian women, should grow to be able to risk revealing ourselves to others and to trust God for the outcomes of these interactions. Dealing with Black women issues calls for some disclosure.

According to Women of Color Study Bible there are three components to intimacy – communication, self-knowledge, and the freedom that comes from such knowledge. We need to be able to share information with people without fear of rejection, if we are going to strengthen our relationships.

We, as Christians, should understand that we have been created as unique people (see Ps. 139:14). When we learn to love and appreciate ourselves, it gives us abilities to love others. It is equally as important to get to know people and be honest with them about who you are.

If a person were unable to trust people, why would they disclose information to them? Let’s learn to be like Ruth and Naomi and have intimacy in our relationship.

Read the previous two articles for more tips:
3 Tips on Christian Women Strengthening One Another
3 More Tips on Christian Women Strengthening One Another

Conclusion: Remember that Black women issues can be handled, if Christian women learn to strengthen each other. If Black women are truly concerned about strengthening one another, we really need to think about the importance of confidence, kindness, and intimacy.

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